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| Our view of the Vatican from the roof of the college! (The glare was pretty bad) |
The main thing that has blown me away in my time here is the mystery between being so far away from home, yet feeling so connected to all of you. The internet has some to do with that since we can be in contact so easily, but as in all things, there is something bigger; there is Someone bigger. I have heard priests say at their first mass how much they felt the power of peoples prayers during their time in formation. While I did not think they were lying, I did not know exactly what they were talking about. Of course I have always appreciated your prayers and support, but until recently I guess I just viewed them as any other type of support...like a pat on the back. Since I have arrived here that has changed. I now see (with limited ability of course) the spiritual connection that we truly have when we pray for one another, especially during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, since we participate in the one eternal sacrifice.
As you can tell from my previous posts, my time here so far has been amazing and blessed. I would be lying, however, if I said that my time has been without struggles. I have freaked out over my Italian classes several times. I have felt like I was not learning anything and that I never would. That has since changed and I feel like I am progressing, slowly but surely. I have talked to a couple of guys and we are set on learning the language so that our experience in Italy can be that much better. We are making plans to study together during the semester and in order to stay focused, I have decided that I will not be singing in choir the first semester to ensure that I have the time I need to dedicate to my Italian studies.
The main source of my struggles, as you could imagine, has been being away from home, from you my family and friends. Along with being away from you, I have left behind my culture, my brother seminarians that I have been in formation with the past two years and just about everything that is familiar to me. I came here having met 1 out of the 230 men here. As tough as the change is at times, God has granted me the grace to view this challenge as an opportunity to grow closer to Him. Nothing is familiar, except for God's love and my relationship with Him. When I feel lonely, He has made me aware of my suffering so that I can offer it up for others. When we suffer, we are intimately united with Christ on the Cross. One of the readings I came across recently recently is from St. Paul's letter to the Colossians when he said, "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church." ~ Colossians 1:24 The Lord's ways are truly amazing. Over the summer, I began reading Pope John Paul II's letter entitled Salvifici Doloris (The Christian Meaning of Human Suffering) in which he tells of the great power of suffering. It is a brilliant letter and is much needed in a world that tries to do everything possible to avoid suffering. I have also begun reading Those Mysterious Priests by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I am only about 35 pages in, but so far he has talked about how the priest is called to be both priest and victim, just as Christ was and is. The priest is to offer up his sufferings for his flock and for the whole world and so become a victim. Just when I was feeling like I was getting nothing from the book (I mean I had read a whole 15 pages) I read this description of the priest/victim at just the right time!
The one caution I had about writing this is people reading it and thinking I am miserable. Let me tell you I AM NOT!!! I am in Rome close to the Holy Father and the heart of the Church. I have had my trials and will definitely continue to have them, but they are nothing I cannot endure with our Lord's help. I believe that God is allowing me to go through these trials so that I may draw closer to Him. It has also allowed me to realize that other people suffer the same separation from family and friends for much more challenging reasons than studying for the priesthood, in particular, those removed from their families due to war, violence, and economic struggles. All this reminds me to pray for our military, those in war torn countries, and for all who must leave their families in order to make enough money to provide for their basic needs. Being the foreigner and not knowing the language (yet), has also given me a new prospective on immigrants back home. I greatly admire all of my brother seminarians from other parts of the world, especially the Hispanics that I got to know at St. Ben's.
Recap: Please continue to pray for me! Know that I am praying for you and please email me if you have specific intentions. Pray especially that I will decrease and He will increase (See John 3:30).
I encourage you (if you have not yet) to read the speeches Pope Benedict has given while in the UK. I have started and they are wonderful! They can be found at http://whispersintheloggia.blogspot.com/ or http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/travels/2010/index_regno-unito_en.htm.
In Christ,
Patrick
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| My view of the sports field from my room window. This was the battle of the undefeated teams. 2nd Year vs. 4th Year. 2nd Year won, which made us look better since they beat us on Labor Day. |
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