Sweet Sweet Freedom! Finals Round 1

Well gang, I survived my first found of oral finals.  It was not as great as some of the guys said it would be, but overall it was a really good experience, not so much for the actual finals, but for some other reasons I hope to elaborate in this blog.

First of all, it was a very trying ten days.  Seven finals in ten days…that’s a bit much.  It was a great opportunity however, to focus on the intellectual aspect of my formation for a while.  With all of the things going on here at the college, that seems to get pushed to the background pretty often for me.  It was very refreshing getting to commit myself to studying and learning about God and our Roman Catholic Church.  Learning early Church History in Rome was such a blessing and I was often humbled at the opportunity.  Having the teacher stop in the lecture when he speaks of one of the great saints and say, “you know if you go over there by such and such…it’s about a ten minute walk from here,” is pretty amazing.  Though I did not appreciate it at the time, it was good to have the old struggles that come along with learning.  It was a great lesson in discipline and time management to make use of the scarce time available to prepare well for my tests.  One thing I am extremely grateful is the new attitude I have tried to develop (somewhat successfully) towards school and exams in particular.  As I approached my tests, I had a great feeling of peace (though I was still pretty nervous) knowing that I had studied hard and learned some great material trying to make my studies not only an academic exercise, but a prayer.  I was comforted with a peaceful feeling about my finals.  I truly feel like I am beginning to care less about grades and more about learning about our loving and faithful God.  If I get a 7 on a test, so be it, as long as I tried my hardest and learned something along the way.  I know that sounds like a talk a parent would give their child who is struggling, but it is a great feeling.

Another great thing about finals was the attitude in the house.  Everyone was studying and at times stressed out, but it was great to see how we all supported each other.  Everyone was always asking if others had finals and offering them words of encouragement to keep going.  The most important and moving thing was the amount of prayer that took place.  People were as dedicated as ever to their daily prayers, attending Mass, and other devotions.  Along with this, the guys in the house prayed constantly for one another as we prepared for and took our tests.  I really feel like we grew closer as a house by uniting ourselves in prayer.  I know that it was a great comfort for me having so many tell me they would pray for me as I went off to my tests.

Finally, I want to thank all of you who continue to support me with your kind words and prayers.  Your support is humbling and appreciated always, but especially during finals when I was stressed and tired.  Your prayers truly helped me not just to make it through them, but also to keep my prayer life going in the midst of so much craziness.  Thanks again and be assured of my prayers for all of you.

In Christ,

Patrick

Lector Institution

On Sunday January 16, 2011 I and 53 of my brother seminarians were instituted to the ministry of Lector.  This means that we are now officially appointed and called by the Church to proclaim the word of God in the context of the Sacred Liturgy.  As Archbishop O’Brian said in his homily during our installation, the Church uses the institution as Lector, then later as Acolyte (serving at the Altar), to allow us to take gradual concrete steps toward the altar, culminating in ordination to the Deaconate at the beginning of our fourth year and ultimately in priestly ordination after the fourth year of theological studies.  I would like to share a few reflections that I have had since being instituted and carrying out my new office in the Church.

As I mentioned to some of my brother seminarians, “I went straight from high school to the pros”!  My first assignment for carrying out my duty as Lector was to read the second reading at our Sunday mass for the seminary community.  Not only was I scheduled for a Sunday mass, but it just so happened to be the day designated for the newly appointed Cardinal Burke to celebrate a Mass of Thanksgiving here at the college for his being elevated to the College of Cardinals. 

The day was great.  Since being instituted God has really called me to reflect on my new ministry and to continue to go deeper into the Sacred Scriptures.  The 2^nd reading from the Office of Readings Sunday morning continued this call.  It was taken from the Vatican II document on the Scared Liturgy entitled “Sacrosanctum Concilium”.  One line that particularly struck me was that when Scripture is read in the Liturgy, it is in fact Christ himself who speaks through the minister.  What an honor it is to be able to carry out such a role in the Church.

As with my first meeting with Cardinal Burke, I was quite impressed.  In just a few minutes of being around him, it becomes apparent the he is a very prayerful and humble priest of Jesus Christ.  His words in his homily were very comforting for me.  He spoke several times of the tremendous weight of the responsibilities which he has taken on by virtue of his elevation to the College of Cardinals.  In his humility, he stated that the only way that he can carry out his responsibilities is to remain faithful to and utterly dependent on Christ and his Church.  He focused, in particular in his reliance on prayer, both on his own prayerful relationship with our Lord, and the prayers of all of the faithful for him and his ministry.

Lately, I have realized more and more what great responsibility comes along with being a priest.  At times, I have been worried, wondering if I will be able to live up to so noble a calling.  The answer to my question is no; I cannot live up to the call to be a priest of Jesus Christ.  However, this is the beginning of being a faithful servant.  I know that there is nothing that I can do to minister to God’s people, it is only by moving aside and letting God work through me that I will be a good and faithful servant.  I must continue to realize that I can do nothing without God’s help and with this knowledge, I must allow myself to be totally dependent on Him.

Thank you all for your prayers for me.  Please continue to pray that I will be a humble servant for our Lord and that I will always seek to know and follow his will.  Please know of my prayers for all of you.

In Christ,

Patrick