My Cup Overflows

       Three days ago, two of my best friends got married.  It was one of the most joyful occasions of my life.  I have known them both for a while, the groom since 2003 and the bride since a couple year after that.  Over these last couple of days, I've been trying to process it all.  I know weddings are supposed to be joyful occasions, but what made this wedding so different?  What made this wedding so special?  Why am I finding it hard to express how overwhelmingly joyful I am?

Em and I love a good pun!

     Friendship.  This is what makes the difference.  The people that got married are my friends.  They have played an enormous role in my life.  I met Philip at a time when I really needed friends.  I had had a conversion, which caused me to lose a lot of friends.  I needed companionship, I needed support in living the Christian life, I needed to be loved.  Philip, along with others, filled that role.  I have known Emily for a while, but it wasn't until I began working with her at my first priestly assignment that I really got to be friends with her.  She quickly became like a sister to me.  We are both hilarious (we love puns!) and love to have a good time.  Philip has challenged me to consider ideas and positions that I would normally overlook.  Emily has helped me to get to work when I need to, and also helps me not to take myself too seriously.  They have both helped me to grow in many ways.  As hard as it is to say, I have also helped them.  As a friend, and as a priest, I have guided them in different ways throughout their lives.  Philip has recently recounted to me a time during college when I asked him if he was doing ok.  Admittedly, I don't recall that interaction, but he says it was a big moment for him, and he is thankful.  In my years at Wisdom, I had several real conversations with Emily, mostly about guys.  It was awesome to see their relationship develop, for them both to finally find the one, and to help prepare them for marriage.  On the night they got engaged they had some friends over at Phil's parents' house, and I was able to bless them and their engagement.  A few days later on my birthday, they asked me to preside at their wedding.

My sweet birthday cod (card) asking
me to preside at their wedding.

     That idea of friendship extends beyond just the amazing couple.  Through them so many people were brought together.  Another priest friend preached the homily for the Nuptial Mass (amazing!).  During the homily I got to sit, enjoy, and look out.  Of course I got to look out at Phil and Em as they listened attentively.  But I also got to look out beyond them.  It filled my heart with inexpressible joy to look out and to see so many people that I love so dearly.  I saw many families that have taken me in as one of their own, some as a friend of their child, others as a priest.  I saw many people that I've worked with and have become close to.  I saw people who I meet with regularly for a book club.  I saw people who's marriages I've witnessed, who's babies I've baptized, people with whom I've celebrated and mourned.  I saw my parents, my brother priests, and so many others who challenge me to be more generous, who challenge me to be holy.  C.S. Lewis writes about friendship in his book, The Four Loves.  He writes about how the love of friends is not exclusive.  In fact, he says that people become more interesting, and friendships deepen if you expand the group.  Philip brings out something in me that only he can bring out.  Emily brings out something in me that only she can bring out.  When they are not around, that part of me lies dormant.  I have loved being introduced to more people, including more people in our friend group through Philip and Emily.  Several people made the remark to me and others after the wedding that they want to be friends with us because they love what we have!  In this authentic growth, our friendships deepen, and we grow, we become more truly who we are in the process.

Incensing the altar during the preparation of the gifts.

     The thing about all of these people and this idea of friendship is that it is real!  One of the most memorable ideas is in the section on friendship from The Four Loves is when C.S. Lewis distinguishes the love of friends from intimate love by saying that lovers stand facing each other and gaze at each other, into each others eyes, whereas friends stand side by side and gaze together at some common thing.  Friendship can be based on any common interest, but the deeper, the more meaningful that toward which friends look, the deeper, the more meaningful the friendship.  This is why my friendship with Philip and Emily is so wonderful.  It is based on God.  That is the foundation.  That is the common interest.  He is the common goal toward Whom we are striving.  This was captured in a strikingly beautiful picture from their wedding.  Our entire life should look like this picture.  All three of us, facing the same direction, facing the Lord.  My love for them is so deep and real because they help to keep me focused on Him.  They demand that I am a good friend, they demand that I am a good Catholic, they demand that I am a good priest!  By the way they live their lives, they help me to stay on the straight and narrow path that leads to life.

     Another thing that has amazed me about the wedding is how quickly this beautiful couple began living the sacrament.  Each sacrament has an outward sign that points us to the inward reality.  In baptism, for example, we wash with water symbolizing the inward reality of sin being removed from the soul.  In marriage, the outward sign is the couple, the people themselves.  They are to be, in their love for God and for one another, a sign to the world of God's love.  They became this sign in a real way when they exchanged their vows.  They lived as this sign by their attentiveness at Mass.  They lived as this sign by their focus on the Lord with and for each other.  I know they lived as this sign well because of the many people I have heard comment on it.  People have said it was the most beautiful, the most prayerful wedding they've ever been to.  People expressed sorrow at not having friends that live out the faith like this couple and their friends.  I know they lived as this sign because they told me that their wedding Mass was like a retreat for them!  May they always continue to live as a sign to the world, a world so desperately in need of God's love.

     In thinking about writing my reflections on the wedding, I kept going back to verses from Scripture that speak of God's abundant goodness.  The title I chose is from Psalm 23.  I also think of the quote I used for my prayer card when I was ordained a priest.  I chose Psalm 116: 12-13, which reads: "How can I repay the LORD / for all the great good done for me? / I will raise the cup of salvation / and call on the name of the LORD."  How do I repay the Lord and my friends for their goodness to me?  I live my life well.  I can only repay the Lord and my friends by living my vocation well, by being a good priest.  That is what the Lord asks of me.  That is what my friends need from me.  That is what will bring my and many other souls to heaven.  Lord, I thank you for the many many blessings you have lavished upon me.  I thank you for my friends, for my family, and for my faith.  I thank you for the great gift you have given me in calling me to be your priest.  Help me to repay you by raising the cup of salvation and calling up on your name!