11th Hour Graces

Christ is risen.
He is truly risen.

I heard this phrase (11th hour graces) used towards the end of Lent, especially when the leader of the "7 Church Pilgrimage" mentioned in a previous entry was trying to encourage people to go on that walk.  It means that we should stay focused and open to what God wants to do in our lives up to the end of particular events.  For instance, in Holy Week we can be tempted to relax since Lent has been so long and Easter is so close.  However, maybe entering deeper into the Sacred Triduum will allow us to receive graces that Lent has been leading us to for the last 6 weeks and if we don't pay attention to God's moving we might miss their full impact on our lives.  This can also be applied to retreats...especially silent retreats when we are so tempted to talk as they draw to a close.  Anyway, I think you get the picture.

As I prepare to return home for the first time in nearly two years I am getting a bit antsy.  At first, I tried to fight this tendency (somewhat unknowingly) by telling people that home wasn't the ONLY thing I could think about, but I'm sure that day would come.  After about two weeks of saying this, I realized that I was pretty much thinking of home all the time.  Praise God for helping me to realize this and giving me the grace to ask to finish my time here strong.  It would be very easy to do the bare minimum to get by and get home in June, but that would not be a good way to stay open to the 11th hour graces he wants to shower down upon me.  I have been praying for the grace to not just get through my last days of the semester, but to really be open to what He is trying to do in this time.

One thing I have noticed already is the connection I have to everyone back home, family, friends and all those in the great Diocese of Lafayette.  When I first arrived, I remember feeling so close to home, though I was so far away.  At the end of two amazing years it seems that this realization is coming full circle.  As my return approaches, God has reminded me of how much I love home and how much all of you love me.  This love that so many have for me was recently realized in a greater way when all of you were so concerned for my dad (who is doing great by the way) and for me.  Your prayers for him and my family got us through and truly humbled me.  My desire to go home is not because I am tired of being in Rome, The Eternal City, but because there is so much love and goodness waiting for me in South Louisiana!  Being away has made me realize how truly blessed I am and I can't wait to return to the love and support that has helped me through nearly 4 years of seminary formation (only 2 left to go!).

Please pray that I can remain focused on my studies and prayer life so that I can receive all that God has in store for me these last 40 + days.  I can't wait to see all of you O so soon!

In Our Risen Lord,
Patrick

Do You Believe?

So as many of you heard we had a little scare today...actually a big scare.  Sunday, my dad was having spells where he would be dizzy, light headed and short of breath.  Though he knew something wasn't right, things would get back to normal soon enough so he didn't think much of it.  He went to bed Sunday, only to wake up around midnight not feeling well.  He woke my mom and told her something wasn't right.  She asked him if he wanted to call my sister-in-law who is a nurse and he said, "I think you better call 911."  She did and they were off to the hospital.  When they arrived, they hooked him up to a heart monitor and realized that his heart rate was dropping drastically, then jumping much higher than normal.  It dropped 3 times and then he flat-lined.  My sister says it was like a movie, they all came in and started working on him to get his heart going again.

This all happened before I returned from school.  When I got back to the house from class, I checked my email and saw that my sister had called.  Not realizing that it was still pretty early there, I called her thinking that maybe I would have another niece or nephew in 9 months (no pressure I promise!).  The news was shocking to say the least.

They were able to bring him back, thank God.  Hearing this news and being 16+ hours away from home makes one feel rather helpless.  However, as soon as I began to feel that way, it was as if God looked over at me with wondering eyes, as if to let me know I had forgotten something.  "Really, you can't do anything?"  I am in Rome, 16+ hours away from home because I am studying to be a Catholic priest, yet I think I can't do anything.  Alright I said, I get the point.

You see the past few days in the daily Mass readings there has been all of this talk about faith and how important it is for us to believe.  In his audience last Wednesday, Pope Benedict spoke about how the early Church combated persecution and other problems with prayer.  I realized that I could do just as much here as I could have done back home.  Sure it would have been nice to be there for my mom, but I could do a great deal from here.  I could PRAY!  And I did.  I prayed a rosary, asking our Blessed Mother to watch over him and the doctors who were operating on him.  I prayed for my mom and my family back home.  I put a prayer intention on the board here where 250 + seminarians, priests, and bishops would walk by and upon seeing it would offer prayers for my dad.  It was as if I was being confronted with the Scriptures and my faith was being put to the test.  It is great to pray and have faith when things are good, but do we turn to it when we are in trials?  This is where "the rubber meets the road."  Do I truly trust that God will protect me and my loved ones.  Do I believe in the power of prayer?  Does God hear me, does he care?  As I thought of these questions, I am glad to say that they were all answered with a resounding YES!  I DO believe; God DOES care; He DOES listen when I cry out to Him!

Thankfully, at the end of the day, my dad had a pacemaker put in and is in his room doing well and recovering.  He should go home tomorrow as there was no blockage, just "electrical problems," which the pacemaker should solve.

Thank you God for giving my dad the sense to go to the hospital.  Had he not been in the ER when he flat-lined, this blog might be very different.  Thank you for using even this horrible situation to teach me something about myself, but more importantly to teach me something about You.  Thank You for showing me how much You love me, how much You love all of us.  Thank you for giving me the grace to believe!

I was already anxious to see my family, but now, I think those hugs will last just a bit longer as I realize even more how precious each of them is to me.  45 days and counting!

In Our Risen Lord,
Patrick

Holy Saturday with Our Lady

I was not able to squeeze in watching "The Passion of the Christ" on Good Friday, which was unfortunate as I had wanted to watch it.  However, I was able to get a copy of it and watch it in the wee hours of this morning (Holy Saturday).  What a great blessing it was and offered me some really great points for reflection.  Particularly moving for me where the scenes with our Blessed Mother and I would like to share some of them with you.

First of all, I was moved to celebrate Holy Saturday with Our Lady as she has been a wonderful guide for me during seminary, and especially since coming to Rome.  One particularly moving thing which was pointed out to me in my Mariology course is the idea that Mary went through the first Holy Saturday without the knowledge of the Resurrection to come on Easter Sunday.  Mary, seeing her son and her Savior die a humiliating and painful death on the Cross ("anyone who is hanged is a curse of God" - Deuteronomy 21:23) had no human reason to continue hoping in the promises of God.  Her hope is the model for how we should trust in God, even when we have no reason (humanly speaking) to do so.  Imagine the loneliness she must have felt not knowing what would happen.

With this in mind, I watched "The Passion".  Seeing how Mary was portrayed as the strong one through it all made me even more excited/comforted/passionate about turning to her for prayers and example in all aspects of my life.  One of the scenes which really caught my attention was when Jesus was carrying the Cross.  Mary wanted to get close to him and looking at St. John she said "take me to him".  How fitting that our Blessed Mother should say this.  She was always close to Jesus, both physically, as any mother is close to her child (flesh of her flesh) and spiritually.  At the moment when all but one of the Apostles abandoned him, it was his mother who stood by him till the end.  During his suffering she said "take me to him" and because of this we in turn say the same thing to her when we are suffering.  Mother Mary, take us to him!

Related to this, is the scene when Jesus is carrying his Cross (I believe) with Mary on one side of the crowd walking with him and the Devil is portrayed mirroring her on the other side of the crowd.  This scene reminded me of some of what I read in St. Louis de Montfort's book "True Devotion to Mary," especially how powerful Our Lady is against Satan.  The lowly servant of the Lord is feared by Satan.  She wants to protect us from his evil snares both in intense manifestations of evil and in the smaller temptations which we encounter daily.  All temptations to sin and turn away from God are the works of the evil one.  In all times of temptation, we should turn to Our Blessed Mother asking for her prayers and following her example of purity and holiness.

The finals scene I would like to recall serves as a sort of "how to".  How do we follow our Blessed Mother's example?  The scene is when Jesus has been arrested and is awaiting his death.  He is in a cell underneath a courtyard which is now empty.  Mary, walking into the courtyard senses that he is near.  She walks around and eventually ends up right above where he is in chains.  When she stops there, she puts her cheek to the ground and in both her face and in Jesus' there is an expression that both know the other is near.  Mary was so united to Jesus, so united to God that she was able to know that he was near when she could not see him.  We too, must be so familiar with God that we know that he is always near, especially in those times when we do not "see" him or "feel" his presence.  We are bound to go through stages of spiritual dryness, but following our Blessed Mother, we will not lose hope in these times and we will come to see them as chances for growth and times where we must have true faith.  It is only possible for us to make it through these times of darkness if we spend time getting to know and coming to love our Lord ever more through prayer.  This is the crux of Pope Benedict's constant call for all people to have a personal experience of and relationship with Jesus Christ.

In these last hours of Holy Saturday, may our Blessed Mother guide you and protect you.

In Christ,
Patrick

And the Walking Man Walks!

Moving in silent desperation 

Keeping an eye on the holy land 

A hypothetical destination 

Say, who is this walking man?

 ~ James Taylor

Two reasons for the above quote from James Taylor.  1.  I went to a James Taylor concert here in Rome this past Friday night...AWESOME!  2.  I spent the day today walking around Rome...reason for this blog...also AWESOME!

Today marks the 27th anniversary of my making my appearance on the scene of the world.  How did I celebrate?  I walked ALL OVER the city of Rome.  I took part in what is called the "7 Church Pilgrimage."  This ancient tradition involves visiting 7 of the major churches in Rome on a walking tour and was very popular among many of the saints.  This pious practice was popularized by St. Philip Neri who is buried here in Rome (about a 10-15 minute walk from the College).

Originally I wasn't sure that I was going to take part.  After all, it was going to be my birthday, I did have some school work I wanted to get done, and the kicker...it involved walking all over the city!  However, with not much coaxing from a fellow seminarian I signed up for the lunch, thus committing myself to attend!  The closer the day came, the less I wanted to go on the tour, but something amazing happened (actually a lot of somethings).  As I was walking to St. Mary Maggiore for the final Station Church of Lent 2012 (during Lent the Station Churches involves going to Mass at a different church in the city each day), I had a profound sense of peace and just had a feeling that it was going to be a good day.  I was wrong, it was a GREAT day.

My walk from the College to St. Mary Maggiore began with meditating on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary (as all of my walks to the Station Churches did).  Next I was able to attend Mass at the beautiful basilica dedicated to Mary the Mother of God.  In this Church are pieces of the crib in which Christ was laid...a good first object for meditation!

Next we went to St. Lawrence Outside the Walls.  This is a beautiful basilica to which I had only been once before this past December 26th.  The reason for visiting on that date is because it is the Feast Day of St. Stephen, the First Christian Martyr and he is buried there.  Also buried there, as you might guess from the name of the church, is St. Lawrence, the Deacon Martyr who was roasted alive for his unwavering faith in Jesus as the Christ.  The third person buried here, Blessed Pope Pius IX is of particular interest to us here at the NAC because he is the one who founded the College in the 1800s.  It was great to be back at this beautiful church, in particular to be able to pray at the tomb of St. Stephen.  My middle name is Steven (just like my daddy's name!), and even though the saint spelled his wrong, I still have come to develop a great devotion to him.  He inspires me by his faith, especially being able to pray for those who were stoning him as he was dying.  Seeing statues or paintings of him also brings me back to the Abbey Church at St. Ben's as they have a great painting of the Proto-martyr in one of the side chapels there.

Our next stop took us to the only church of the 7 we visited which I had not been to before.  Santa Croce in Gerusalemme is known for its great relics dealing with the Passion of our Lord.  Among the relics are several pieces of the True Cross, the sign ("Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews") which hung above Christ stating why he was being crucified, nails from the Crucifixion, Thorns from Christ's Crown of Thorns, and the finger of St. Thomas which he stuck in the side of the Resurrected Christ just before he proclaimed "My Lord and my God."  Needless to say, being so close to these relics, especially during Holy Week when we are called to prayerfully consider and enter into in a more intense way, the suffering and death of our Lord was truly amazing.

Relics of Christ's Passion.

St. John Lateran, the pope's Cathedral.  Not only that, but there are also relics of Sts. Peter and Paul above the main altar.  As I walked I was drawn into the Blessed Sacrament Chapel where they were having Adoration.  I popped in to pray Midmorning Prayer and felt so thankful for the quite time with our Eucharistic Lord.  After walking around a bit and learning how the reliefs down the main isle mirror each other (one side from the OT, for example the Flood, and the other side from the NT with the Baptism of Jesus across from the Flood) it was time to move on once again.

A brief intermission on the way to the next official church on the tour was a quick stop in the "Quo Vadis" church.  Legend has it that St. Peter was fleeing Rome because of the persecutions of the Emperor Nero, in which he would eventually be martyred.  As he was walking out of the city on the Appian Way, St. Peter saw Jesus and he asked him, "Domine, quo vadis" or "Lord, where are you going?"  Jesus responded by saying that he was going into Rome to be crucified again.  Hearing this, Peter knew that he could not flee the persecutions.  He returned to Rome, and as we know he was crucified upside-down as per his request as he did not feel worthy to die in the same way as his Savior.

St. Sebastian was our final stop before lunch.  The Basilica of St. Sebastian is located at the catacombs which take the same name.  This Church has the remains of St. Sebastian who was a 3rd century Roman soldier who was a Christian.  The emperor, Diocletian, tried to get rid of all Christians in public life, including those in the army.  Sebastian was killed as a result of these persecutions and devotion to him spread quickly after his death.  

After lunch we continued our walk to St. Paul Outside the Walls.  Truly one of the most beautiful churches in Rome, this basilica was constructed over the tomb of the great Apostle of the Gentiles.  We probably had the most time at this church, and after an unsuccessful attempt to go to confession (nap time!!!!), I had this urge to read Paul's writings.  I went down right in front of his tomb, took out my Bible and opened to the beginning of his Letter to the Romans (I was doing a walking tour of Rome after all!).  I ready the first chapter and something struck me.  The line "To all God's beloved in Rome, who are called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ" jumped off the page at me.  I was struck with the realization that the many great saints that had taken part of this pilgrimage before me and even many of those at whose tombs I had prayed earlier in the day had read these words from St. Paul.  St. Paul was writing to them!  The Church in Rome existed, at least in part, thanks to the work and writings of St. Paul.  We are now the faithful of Rome (if not the city literally, God is still speaking to us personally through his Living Word...also, it is not called the ROMAN Catholic Church for nothing!).  What an amazing opportunity and a great blessing that God would open my eyes to the Scriptures in this way.

6 down, 1 to go.  Only 3.5 miles separating me from St. Peter's and returning home to the College!  After making it to the square the group split up and we all went in to St. Peter's on our own.  Earlier in the day, I had decided that I would go to Confession at St. Peter's so that I could use the day of prayer to do a good examination of conscience.  When I entered the basilica, I made my way over to the area for Confession and got in line.  While waiting, I had a great conversation with a man from Ohio who had great questions about the faith.  His daughter and he were receiving the sacrament and I had the great desire to pray for them as it had been a while since they went.  I prayed the Hail Mary repeatedly as they went to Confession knowing that Our Blessed Mother would calm any nerves they may have had.  Finally I got to go and it was a great Confession (not because of what I did!).  The priest sounded Irish and gave me some great things to think about, especially the helpful reminder not to be too hard on myself!

A final grace of the day were the many wonderful conversations I was able to have with people on the pilgrimage with us.  Overall, there were about 50 + seminarians and 50 + laypeople (one couple was in their 70s) on the 13 mile walk.  The sight of so many people giving up their day to prayerfully journey through the city which has given the Church so many Saints and Martyrs was humbling and hopeful to say the least.

What better birthday could a guy ask for?  God is so good to me.  He will have every right to demand a great deal from me in this life as he has given me so much.  That is fine with me, as long as he continues to give me the grace to remain faithful and to follow the instructions of our Blessed Mother: "do whatever he tells you."  I offered up my 13 + miles of walking today for all of you back home.  I pray that you all have a very prayerful Holy Week and that it leads to a grace-filled and Happy Easter.

In Christ,

Patrick

P.S. - This was written @ 9:00 the day of the 12 + hour walk...sorry in advance for any type-o's.